Lovely You Are Seen...

When you feel unseen and unheard, it can be challenging to feel like what you do is important. Especially when we live in a society that has become accustomed to people oversharing the highlights of their lives, chronological timelines of their trips, clothing overhauls, and so forth. If you are like me, and no longer subscribe to trying to share your life with the whole world –telling them every detail that they shouldn’t be privy to– some may think you’re not doing much. Well I do plenty, and I am no longer compelled to tell the world about it, just because we live in a “see me, and all that I do” era. As a married woman that has worked from home, while my kids attend online school, I’ve had people in my own family pretend as if my contribution in life was minimal in contrast to the work my husband does. Yes, it is a blessing and a privilege to work from home as I run a small business while attending to my growing children. It has also taken a great sacrifice, but it is all hard work. 


True story time: I have a family member that never fails to ask my husband about his business, and what he’s doing when she sees us, and never asks me a thing. This same woman gave me a birthday card a few years ago that said on the inside, “whatever you want to do with your life”. If you’re wondering, she’s actually blood related to me, and not my husband. The day will come when she will have to see herself, and eat her words. 
 
Unfortunately, I’ve had a plethora of distasteful experiences with people that were careless, and not mindful with their words and actions. It is almost etched in my spirit the experience I had at a company that assists small businesses. One of the women leaders there said to another small business owner while I was trying to share my hair business, “you should see what her husband does”. The woman that I was trying to share my hair business with looked a little disinterested in what I was saying. Maybe it was this woman’s attempt to validate me. I don’t know, but I didn’t feel good about it. When I approached her sometime later about it. She said to me, “I said that, in front of you?”.

At this same organization, the (now resigned) director wanted my husband to speak at a Black History Month event in 2020 in front of our City Council. My husband was working, so he couldn’t make it. My advisor from the same organization asked me to speak at the same event. She said my voice was right for the job. I arrived early, and met some folks in advance of everyone else arriving as small business clients of this organization. A while later, the director and my advisor, who had asked me to speak, arrived. The director says right in front of the people I would be speaking to, “where’s your husband, I wanted him. Is he working today”? I was a bit embarrassed, in the moment, and felt slightly futile. I must say when it was my turn to speak on the microphone before the city council members and citizens, I silenced the room. When my time ran out, they didn’t stop me. There was even a young lady that shouted me out, like she was listening to a sermon that she was enjoying. I was so grateful, for the gift of oration, and divine timing. 

After it was over, I said to the director, “I know I’m not my husband, but I hope I didn’t disappoint”. I refrained from telling her that over the microphone. I really wanted her to feel how I felt. She then tried to walk back what she said. Trust me, I knew that I did a good job, I just needed to rub it in a little so she could hear herself. Soon after, I left the program. I was tired of the spirit of comparison, and the favoritism. I desired to be in an environment that uplifted me. It was really only one individual that made me feel seen, and heard, and she was my advisor. Unfortunately her advisor was a woman who behaved very ugly towards me, and my products. I needed to be in a place of peace, and that organization was not it. Some time went by, and I was really able to let both of those women at the top of that organization know how poorly they made me feel. 

I’m sharing these few stories, (trust me I have more) just to remind you, if you have ever felt unseen and overlooked that you are not alone. You will be seen and heard by all the right people. Know your worth and that you are valuable. If there are those that can’t see what you bring, and add to humanity, that’s their personal problem. You are valuable, you have purpose, and what you do is important. No matter the size of the job that you’re doing. Simply put, you are consequential. What you do is impactful. I believe that you will have a divine encounter, or moment to show you how much you are seen, by HE who sits high and looks low. I hope this helps you or someone you know feel seen today. 


See Humanity,

April E.
Lovely Coils 
Founder & Owner