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Being a woman of African descent, I felt compelled to write about freedom. I started writing for a post in June. It was going to be about Juneteenth. Well that didn’t happen. I was a little frustrated when I realized time had passed and June was over. Another missed month for a post, which was intended to be monthly, but life gets in the way. Well, I was wrong. The timing is perfect. As fireworks are being lit up tonight (and I love the sight of fireworks) for the Fourth of July it is imperative to remember that everyone during 1776 was not free. Although white settlers were declaring their freedom from Great Britain, Black people held captive as slaves were yet slaves, and The Indigenous people were at war for their land, freedom, and preservation of their of way of life. Many of them had been enslaved as well.
Freedom costs indigenous people’s their land, and families, it was an unnecessary bloody bath for land that never belonged to white settlers. The indigenous people believed that the land was to be shared, and no one should own it. While freedom was being declared against Britain, Black men, woman, and children were yet being beaten, sexually abused, and treated inhumanely. So for many who choose not to celebrate, look not down upon them. Seek to find out what it truly cost for the people whose blood and history made it possible for America to be what it is today. Delve into the bloody past and present woes which hide behind the American Flag, and see what it costs. See that The Constitution of the United States counted former Black Kings, and Queens as 3/5 of a person although they built the White House, and much more. The Declaration of Independence speaks of the Indigenous as merciless, ruthless, savages. It is Written that a thief comes but to kill, steal, and destroy…. So there are non washable bloodstains on the hands of those that established this country. There is blood that screams from the ground from countless lives lost just to establish what we now call America. There are trees that gave witness to the inhumane treatment of human beings, because their branches were forced to hang them. It was something that their branches were never intended for. All of this is absolute savagery to me. However you choose to celebrate or not, it’s absolutely your choice. Just remember the whole unlovely story, and possibly be grateful for those whose enslavement, and sacrifice help make America what it is today. We are the people. In honor of those who paid the price, April E. Lovely Coils Founder & Owner
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Many of us are in seasons of life that require a process of some sort. If you’re anything like me, then you probably have a little disdain for processes. Maybe you’re not like me at all, and I truly congratulate you. Oftentimes the lack of excitement regarding going through a process is, because I believe we’re anxious to see the end of it. We want results in an instant, like a microwave. Humanity is conditioned to want it right now. Our society is inundated with the idea that success happens fast, thanks to social media, some bios of many idolized celebrities, and the idea of being an “overnight success”. So it’s easy to see how it gets harder, and harder to tolerate processes. It’s almost like you come through one process, and you turn around, and there is another process to go through.
I get it, you’re tired. I say this to myself, as I say it to you, keep going. Whether your process is healing from a physical, or emotional injury, getting counseling from childhood scars, finishing your degree, GED, holding your family together, or simply trying to fulfill your dreams. Perhaps it feels like the end is so far away, and the towel sitting on your kitchen sink is tempting you to throw it in, and I don’t mean in the washing machine…Don’t do it lovely! Just pick up the towel, and use it to wipe off your sweat, keep going, or perhaps take a little break. Maybe you need to unplug, pause, reboot, and when you’re able, take a vacation. Here’s a fun analogy, totally inspired by my beautiful twelve year old daughter, who loves cooking, and baking. A process can be a bit like a gourmet meal, vs. a microwave meal. Ok, The latter will feed you quickly, but you’re usually briefly satiated, nutrient deficient, full of preservatives, and chemicals. The other requires a shopping list of specific ingredients, meal prep, marinating of meat, or tofu, the dicing of vegetables, and perhaps a perfectly prepared starch like couscous. After it’s perfectly prepared it’s usually plated well, with a beautiful beverage to compliment it. Perhaps it’s just San Pellegrino, but hopefully you get my point. My friend, trust me, the gourmet process will definitely be worth waiting for. When I get to the end of my process regarding various things in my life, it will be rewarding, and worth it. If you don’t stop halfway to your finish line, you’ll be glad you completed your process. Oh, yeah you probably have to start a new one. It’ll be worth it as well. In process, April Etuk Lovely Coils Founder & Owner We have such deep roots as Black People. It’s vital to comprehend that our History did not begin with slavery, and that there’s so much to be proud of. As an African American, I am most grateful to have knowledge of our deep roots. It removes the cancer of self-degradation from my mind, and I would hope that it does the same for millions of descendants of the Alkebulan Diaspora. The history of Black people is so deep that they could wrap around the world and back. Black History is long, and the contributions we’ve made go untold in history books around the world, and especially in the West. We celebrate Black History 365, in my home, and in the work of Lovely Coils. It is vital that we do, because it is necessary. We dare not stand around waiting for the world to scream that Black Lives Matter. We should already know it, live it, and see it reflected in society. We should eat the fruit of those words, in the mass correction of many wrongs done to the Black people in the United States of America, and the world. As a Black mom it was apparent to me that my children needed to understand that they too are very important human beings, and the contributions that their people have made are vast, and have changed the world. I didn’t have any of that information growing up, and it would’ve altered my view of myself, especially as a young child. I grew up being called blacky, and I had very low self-esteem. Knowing this beauty, and depth of Blackness would’ve changed my world. Seeing myself reflected in story books, toys, heroes, and even a Black President, oh how it would’ve done my heart good. I prayed that I would see a President that reflected my children while they were growing up, and when my son was three it came true. My daughter was born shortly after, and it was a prayer answered, they both grew up seeing themselves reflected in the highest office in the United States. So like Martin, they could dream. Like Malcolm X they would have the audacity to love themselves. Black History Month is a time to reflect on the beauty of Blackness. It is an opportunity to find, and support Black business, but let it be 365, not only in February. I’m grateful for Carter G. Woodson, who got this whole celebration started. Now only if the world could catch on, and find the truth about Black, but wait many black people need to do the same. Many of us are doing things to change our blackness in an effort to be more acceptable, or alter ourselves to some perceived standard of beauty. I really hope that type of mentality will change, and the best is yet to come, and there’s a mass celebration of Blackness, and the lifting of Black People globally. Please go out, and continue to celebrate Black History Month, for Black History is American History, it is World History. I’m signing off now. Celebrating in Black, April E. Lovely Coils Founder & Owner I haven’t written in a while, actually in about two months. I honestly feel like no one reads these, lol🤣. I’m kidding, but only a little.
Now that I’ve got my giggles out, let’s talk about seasons. It would look funny begging winter to stay, and telling spring you’re not necessary. Mmh, spring I don’t need you! Nah, it doesn't work that way. You have no power over the seasons that come, but you do have the power to shift how you feel about the season, how you view it, embrace it, and dress for the weather that comes with it. Will you dance in the rain, make angles in the snow, soak up the sun, or jump in a huge pile of leaves? It may sound a bit silly, but this is how you can respond to change in your life. Particularly when it comes to people, you thought would be around forever. No, I’m not talking about loved ones that die, or things of that nature. Not at all. I’m referring to the type of people that decide you’re not valuable enough to treat kindly, to love well, so they walk away. Sometimes they stick around so that they can ridicule you, insisting that you need them, and no one else would want you. I’m also speaking about people that we keep around, because we think having more people around validates us, or at least we have a “friend”. I may never meet you, but I want to let you know that you have a friend in me through this blog. My desire is that you realize that you are important enough to pick your friends like you pick your fruit. If it’s family members that are hurting you in some way, speak up. Sometimes you have to learn how to love people at a distance, but you can still love them. I recently had to say goodbye to a “frienemiship”,(I think I coined a phrase here) and I’m honestly better off for it. Why, because seasons change. I won’t ask summer to stick around when it’s time for the fall to return, I don’t want to miss out on all the beautiful colors. Hopefully, you get the gist of what is being said. It may be overdue for you to remove, let go, back up, from those that are toxic, and leave you worse off after you talk to them, or spend time with them. I’ve heard it said, by some great people, that you can’t take everyone with you to the next level. Unfortunately, many of us will keep holding on to what’s killing us, because our desire for connection is blinding us of the revelation that everyone in every season is not for you. In America, I believe we have a mentality that bigger is better, more is better, and we equate status, and worth to more. So many times we allow those that should’ve long left our lives to keep poisoning the air around us with competition, criticism, and cruelty, you know the list goes on... So, I challenge you today to take an assessment of your environment. Is your air quality toxic, based on what you’ve allowed to stay too long? Well fall is here, are you still longing for summer? I can tell you this as winter approaches, I’ll be ready for it. As people leave my life, I’ll simply bid them farewell. Allowing the seasons to change in my life, for change is good. Letting the seasons change, April Etuk Lovely Coils Founder & Owner So many things get into the ground, or soil of our lives, nestled in our mind, heart, and spirit. Many times this can occur early on when we are in the elementary years of life. Good experiences, and bad ones as well. Through kind words, and harsh words, a vast assortment of seeds can grow throughout our lives. If one could quiet their mind long enough to see, and evaluate what's in their life, what would a person see? What's the source of the fruit in their life? The good, the bad, and the ugly experiences in life, have the power to shape who we become. Something planted only once can have a lifetime of side effects. Sorta like the weeds in a garden that don't get uprooted, and without weed killer they just come back.
Today my focus, and only focus is on the negative, at the moment. Why, do you ask? Well, because it's important, and negativity is harmful for the psyche. Whatever you water, or feed will grow. If you want to lead a life with less weeds, so to speak, let's talk about it. Let's look at it from a position of power, and not pain, a victor instead of a victim. Painful experiences like various types of abuse, verbal included, can cause a person to believe things that are not true about them. For example, a child being mistreated at home, constantly being told that they're ugly, stupid and that they'll never amount to anything, then goes to school, and hears the same recurring message. Now fold in a pinch of social media, with a tablespoon of trolls sending the same message....That's a recipe yielding disastrous internal results. If you are reading this, you have the power to examine the harvest in your own life. You have to decide if you like what you see. Ask yourself: How did I get here? Is this really what I want to keep watering, or "believing", about myself? We must be diligent like the farmer that wants to yield a great harvest. A farmer wakes up everyday checking for the "bugs" that want to eat his/her crops up. we have to be sure that we're watering the good things in our lives, not the "weeds". We need to not give water or light to those negative things...like an evil version of photosynthesis. Negativity has to be starved. Giving it no power. Like tares, and wheat... wheat is edible, tares are not. They are both growing alongside one another, only one is able to feed you, becoming some form of nourishment to your body. The other is of no good use at all. If you are a person that has been abused in any manner, yet dealing with the side effects of that experience, it's not your fault. That's an enormous weed designed to choke the life out of you, and it's time to uproot it. Uproot it, so new beliefs about you can be planted. So that you're able to enjoy everyday life. Get help, and some good counsel, if needed. Do it so you can live well, and experience wholeness. Lovely be careful, and pay attention to what you are watering, feeding, and giving life to so that you may grow well. In wholeness, April E. Lovely Coils Founder & Owner Sometimes life feels like an uphill climb. An endless battle of sorts, that can make you feel defeated, and hopeless. Oftentimes with thoughts like, “what’s the purpose of getting up everyday.” Well, since it’s the month of April, and my name is April, and the definition means, “to open”.... Perhaps, I could open your eyes to something that you may not think about everyday. You are a warrior, a fighter, and a champion, regardless of what it feels like, or looks like in your situation. Follow me for a moment, what if you could look at it this way?… There are negative forces that come against me, just to get me to quit. Hoping that I won’t finish the race that I started. Anxiously awaiting the moment that I “tap out”, because if I keep going then all of the opposing forces lose. All of the people, or negative situations that sprung forth along my journey of life become a lie. So therefore, if I have the audacity to bloom where I’m planted, thereby getting up everyday, I will annihilate all that has come against me. Naysayers, unbelievers, sickness, lack, it doesn’t matter. It won’t define me. It won’t win.
Are your eyes open wide yet? Think about it, if it’s negative, it didn’t come to leave you better off, it came to steal from you leaving you depleted, but you can flip it. You can learn from it, and grow from it. You lovely, are a champion. You are a force to be reckoned with. Though it may not feel like it, you certainly are champ, a fighter. Think about all the things that you overcame. Think about it, going all the way back to childhood, those negative situations, and circumstances. See you’ve arisen from all of that, and you’re still here. So I want you to open your eyes, look in the mirror, and declare not now, not ever will I give up. Quitting is not optional. There’s more in me, more for me, so no matter what comes my way, I will not stop getting up. I may take a rest in the corner like champion fighters do, but I’m not out. I will not be defeated. With Love, April E. Lovely Coils Found & Owner In honor of Black History I’m going to discuss that beautiful word that has so many negative connotations to it. Connotations that have given the word Black a bad name. Without a second thought those words become seared into the back of the subconscious mind. Black cats are bad luck, wear black to to a funeral, even the very definition of black in many dictionaries has a negative connotation. Well, one must inquire of themselves with deep thought whose idea was it to ensure that society would have it impressed upon the minds of individuals for centuries to come, passed down from generation to generation, that Black skin, Black People, and Black things were bad? Who would stand to gain from it, for the sake of their posterity? Well, I let you mull it over in your mind, as I proceed to convey to you why I love Black so much, and why it is so special to me. Black is beautiful, period. From my Black People, and the various hues of our complexions, to the gorgeous night sky filled with luminaries for our enjoyment. I especially love the contributions made to the world by Black People. Black is infinite, Black is the genesis of humanity (yes, it’s scientifically proven). Blackness influences culture no matter where Black People are in the world. We’ve been taught throughout history via the vehicle of slavery, and white-washed History Books, that Black is lazy, inferior, and cursed. We’ve been sold that Black is less sought after in media, film, and music videos. Moreover, it has been impressed upon us that the antithesis of Black is superior. I think not. I would hope by now, that there would be enough folks wise enough to stop believing the nonsense, and those with Black skin would stop running from their Blackness, and embrace all that it is, because it is so beautiful. We’ve been taught that Black is so ugly that we should try and whiten our skin, and this is happening all over the world, and it is very painful to witness. I truly hope that one day people all over the world would rise up, vote with their dollar, and stop believing that life would be better off, if they weren’t as dark. Possibly putting all the skin whitening companies out of business. I shall not continue down this path, but I won’t, because I could go on all day about it. I believe it’s time-out on the normalcy of vilifying all that is Black. It’s time to redefine the word Black. It’s time to uproot every foul seed that has been planted about black, and dark things. It’s time to move beyond the idea that life would be better for all if everyone was white. It’s time to celebrate in Black, instead of mourning in it. It’s time to celebrate dark skin instead of trying to whiten it. It’s time to realize how deep anti-blackness goes, to have real conversations about it, stop only posting about it, and putting BLM signs in yards. We need to recognize that Black Lives don’t just matter, they are matter, they are essential, and they are the very genesis of humanity. It’s high time to tear down every caste system, systemic racism, and deconstruct it for the good of humanity. My final thoughts are simply this...Black is gold. Black is the foundation of American culture. Black is ingenuity, Black is music, Black is science, Black is creativity, Black is, that it is, that it is, and it is infinite, and the world wouldn’t be the same without it. So, I choose to celebrate Lovely Blackness 365 days a year, and not to wait on the approval, or permission of anyone to do just that. Always with love, April E. Don’t let the way this year started fool you. It’s still a New Year, despite the Capitol insurrection, a myriad of racial injustices, and personal life situations that look the same, the best is yet to come. You can start over. You have the power to speak what it will become for you, because there is power in words. Life and death are in the power of the tongue. No matter where you are today, or what you are experiencing that mirrors the old of 2020 you can have Lovely Restart. You can choose positivity over negativity, gratefulness instead of complaining, forgiveness over bitterness, hope instead of despair, faith over fear, and whatever else comes to mind for you, in your personal journey of life. Okay, now push your imaginary restart button, on a count of three, one, two, three!
Always with love, April E. Founder & Owner |
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