So many things get into the ground, or soil of our lives, nestled in our mind, heart, and spirit. Many times this can occur early on when we are in the elementary years of life. Good experiences, and bad ones as well. Through kind words, and harsh words, a vast assortment of seeds can grow throughout our lives. If one could quiet their mind long enough to see, and evaluate what's in their life, what would a person see? What's the source of the fruit in their life? The good, the bad, and the ugly experiences in life, have the power to shape who we become. Something planted only once can have a lifetime of side effects. Sorta like the weeds in a garden that don't get uprooted, and without weed killer they just come back.
Today my focus, and only focus is on the negative, at the moment. Why, do you ask? Well, because it's important, and negativity is harmful for the psyche. Whatever you water, or feed will grow. If you want to lead a life with less weeds, so to speak, let's talk about it. Let's look at it from a position of power, and not pain, a victor instead of a victim. Painful experiences like various types of abuse, verbal included, can cause a person to believe things that are not true about them. For example, a child being mistreated at home, constantly being told that they're ugly, stupid and that they'll never amount to anything, then goes to school, and hears the same recurring message. Now fold in a pinch of social media, with a tablespoon of trolls sending the same message....That's a recipe yielding disastrous internal results.
If you are reading this, you have the power to examine the harvest in your own life. You have to decide if you like what you see. Ask yourself: How did I get here? Is this really what I want to keep watering, or "believing", about myself? We must be diligent like the farmer that wants to yield a great harvest. A farmer wakes up everyday checking for the "bugs" that want to eat his/her crops up. we have to be sure that we're watering the good things in our lives, not the "weeds". We need to not give water or light to those negative things...like an evil version of photosynthesis. Negativity has to be starved. Giving it no power. Like tares, and wheat... wheat is edible, tares are not. They are both growing alongside one another, only one is able to feed you, becoming some form of nourishment to your body. The other is of no good use at all.
If you are a person that has been abused in any manner, yet dealing with the side effects of that experience, it's not your fault. That's an enormous weed designed to choke the life out of you, and it's time to uproot it. Uproot it, so new beliefs about you can be planted. So that you're able to enjoy everyday life. Get help, and some good counsel, if needed. Do it so you can live well, and experience wholeness. Lovely be careful, and pay attention to what you are watering, feeding, and giving life to so that you may grow well.
Founder & Owner
Sometimes life feels like an uphill climb. An endless battle of sorts, that can make you feel defeated, and hopeless. Oftentimes with thoughts like, “what’s the purpose of getting up everyday.” Well, since it’s the month of April, and my name is April, and the definition means, “to open”.... Perhaps, I could open your eyes to something that you may not think about everyday. You are a warrior, a fighter, and a champion, regardless of what it feels like, or looks like in your situation. Follow me for a moment, what if you could look at it this way?… There are negative forces that come against me, just to get me to quit. Hoping that I won’t finish the race that I started. Anxiously awaiting the moment that I “tap out”, because if I keep going then all of the opposing forces lose. All of the people, or negative situations that sprung forth along my journey of life become a lie. So therefore, if I have the audacity to bloom where I’m planted, thereby getting up everyday, I will annihilate all that has come against me. Naysayers, unbelievers, sickness, lack, it doesn’t matter. It won’t define me. It won’t win.
Are your eyes open wide yet? Think about it, if it’s negative, it didn’t come to leave you better off, it came to steal from you leaving you depleted, but you can flip it. You can learn from it, and grow from it. You lovely, are a champion. You are a force to be reckoned with. Though it may not feel like it, you certainly are champ, a fighter. Think about all the things that you overcame. Think about it, going all the way back to childhood, those negative situations, and circumstances. See you’ve arisen from all of that, and you’re still here.
So I want you to open your eyes, look in the mirror, and declare not now, not ever will I give up. Quitting is not optional. There’s more in me, more for me, so no matter what comes my way, I will not stop getting up. I may take a rest in the corner like champion fighters do, but I’m not out. I will not be defeated.
Found & Owner
In honor of Black History I’m going to discuss that beautiful word that has so many negative connotations to it. Connotations that have given the word Black a bad name. Without a second thought those words become seared into the back of the subconscious mind. Black cats are bad luck, wear black to to a funeral, even the very definition of black in many dictionaries has a negative connotation. Well, one must inquire of themselves with deep thought whose idea was it to ensure that society would have it impressed upon the minds of individuals for centuries to come, passed down from generation to generation, that Black skin, Black People, and Black things were bad? Who would stand to gain from it, for the sake of their posterity? Well, I let you mull it over in your mind, as I proceed to convey to you why I love Black so much, and why it is so special to me. Black is beautiful, period. From my Black People, and the various hues of our complexions, to the gorgeous night sky filled with luminaries for our enjoyment. I especially love the contributions made to the world by Black People.
Black is infinite, Black is the genesis of humanity (yes, it’s scientifically proven). Blackness influences culture no matter where Black People are in the world. We’ve been taught throughout history via the vehicle of slavery, and white-washed History Books, that Black is lazy, inferior, and cursed. We’ve been sold that Black is less sought after in media, film, and music videos. Moreover, it has been impressed upon us that the antithesis of Black is superior. I think not.
I would hope by now, that there would be enough folks wise enough to stop believing the nonsense, and those with Black skin would stop running from their Blackness, and embrace all that it is, because it is so beautiful. We’ve been taught that Black is so ugly that we should try and whiten our skin, and this is happening all over the world, and it is very painful to witness. I truly hope that one day people all over the world would rise up, vote with their dollar, and stop believing that life would be better off, if they weren’t as dark. Possibly putting all the skin whitening companies out of business. I shall not continue down this path, but I won’t, because I could go on all day about it.
I believe it’s time-out on the normalcy of vilifying all that is Black. It’s time to redefine the word Black. It’s time to uproot every foul seed that has been planted about black, and dark things. It’s time to move beyond the idea that life would be better for all if everyone was white. It’s time to celebrate in Black, instead of mourning in it. It’s time to celebrate dark skin instead of trying to whiten it. It’s time to realize how deep anti-blackness goes, to have real conversations about it, stop only posting about it, and putting BLM signs in yards. We need to recognize that Black Lives don’t just matter, they are matter, they are essential, and they are the very genesis of humanity. It’s high time to tear down every caste system, systemic racism, and deconstruct it for the good of humanity.
My final thoughts are simply this...Black is gold. Black is the foundation of American culture. Black is ingenuity, Black is music, Black is science, Black is creativity, Black is, that it is, that it is, and it is infinite, and the world wouldn’t be the same without it. So, I choose to celebrate Lovely Blackness 365 days a year, and not to wait on the approval, or permission of anyone to do just that.
Always with love,
Don’t let the way this year started fool you. It’s still a New Year, despite the Capitol insurrection, a myriad of racial injustices, and personal life situations that look the same, the best is yet to come. You can start over. You have the power to speak what it will become for you, because there is power in words. Life and death are in the power of the tongue. No matter where you are today, or what you are experiencing that mirrors the old of 2020 you can have Lovely Restart. You can choose positivity over negativity, gratefulness instead of complaining, forgiveness over bitterness, hope instead of despair, faith over fear, and whatever else comes to mind for you, in your personal journey of life. Okay, now push your imaginary restart button, on a count of three, one, two, three!
Always with love,
Founder & Owner
I wrestled with what word to leave you all with this year. What insight could I impart. What wisdom could I verbalize that would benefit, and leave you off better than you were before you stopped by this website. With almost an hour left in 2020 on PST time, I write this to hopefully leave you with a seed that gets watered, and grows into a great tree of hope, and bears so much fruit that those that will come across your path in the new year will be fed. So, I want you to get your hopes up, your smile back (if you’ve lost it), get some faith, and yes mustard seed size will do just fine. I want you to happen to 2021, don’t let it just happen to you. Declare, speak, say what this coming year will be, raise your expectation. Look over 2020, and think about what you gained not just the losses. Find the wins, no matter what awful things may have happened there’s something that you learned, something to be grateful for, a lesson learned that leaves you much wiser. There’s something good to find in the detritus from the storm of 2020, that will equip you for the New Year, that made you better.
Now, let 2021 know here I come. Say yeah, I’m coming. Racial inequality, COVID, joblessness, and whatever other foul thing lurking in 2021 that’s waiting to catch the least expecting hopeful soul off guard, and steal their hopes, dreams, and belief… I won’t be one of them, and I don’t want you to be either. Write the vision, and make it plain.Write down your hopes, dreams, and goals. Become the change that the world needs to see. It’s okay if you fail trying. You tried. Take back your life, help someone get theirs back. Live with such expectation that when doubt, fear, lack, failure, covid, all the hurts of 2020 come racing back to your mind, just stop and say nope it’s a new year, and I have raised my belief, and expectation, and it will only get better from here. I will believe that the best is yet to come. I’m not going to be focused on stuff that doesn’t matter. I’m going to live like I know my life matters, and I have purpose. I’m going to show up so that the world is better, because I chose to show up, and be the best version of me possible. I’m expecting, I’m believing, and I’m actively choosing to find the beauty in everyday life, and how I can bring beauty to someone else’s life.
This year I’m reminding myself that faith is an action word. With 35 minutes left in 2020, I hope that no matter what comes in 2021 that mirrors the ugly of 2020, that you will live with Lovely Expectation, and don’t just let the year happen to you, you are going to happen to it! With 22 minutes left. Happy New Year!
With great expectation,
The Lovely power of celebrating right now. You don’t have to wait, and you don’t need permission to celebrate yourself. You don’t have to ask anyone to buy you flowers, you don’t have to wait to make a special dinner for two. Buy flowers for yourself, yes absolutely in a pandemic, 5.99 at your local grocery store. Make dinner, light a candle, sit down, and be grateful for your breath. Yes, celebrate that you can breath on your own. Someone is suffering from COVID-19, and on a ventilator. Celebrate in the midst of a storm in the height of a pandemic, because life is a gift. Your life is a gift, and you’re still here. Remind 2020, that the best is yet to come, and it’s not what happens to us, it’s how we respond.
Have a party by yourself, with your pod that you live with, or via zoom with a friend or two. You need no other reason other than the fact that you’re still here. I sincerely hope you can say that your loved ones are still here as well. Did your Black family member make it home safely in this toxic racist climate in America? Okay, fiesta! Celebrate, life is like a priceless gem. Choose joy, choose peace, choose to wake up, and leave the world better off, because you showed up, lived on purpose, used your life for good, and not for evil. You’re celebrating, not you’re not letting circumstances decide when you get to be happy. If you’re a survivor of __________________, celebrate.
If you’re a newbie to homeschooling, celebrate surviving that. I’ve homeschooled my kids for five years, I understand, and you’re gonna make it through. Make sure you put yourself on the to-do list though. Go to the nearest Dollar Tree, or Dollar General for decor, and your favorite place for a party snack, (mine is Grocery Outlet), and party on! Celebrate Lovely, you deserve it!
Police brutality, qualified immunity, white supremacy, unjust laws, broken families, and the list goes on. Most of us know this already. So why am I writing this? I’m writing this, because in spite of all of that, I believe in us. I believe that Black People can do anything, and overcome despite the odds stacked against us. I believe in our ability to rise. Like the words of Maya Angelou… “Still I Rise”. I believe we are missing integral pieces to our puzzle. Elements that the Black Communities of old had. The first element is unity. If I were a fly on the wall, I’m most certain that those communities had problems. Yet, unity helped create prosperous communities like Rosewood, and Tulsa Oklahoma. The latter is better known as Black Wall Street. It’s not the reference I care to use, due to the fact that the first Wall Street that still exists today was an auction block for the buying, and selling, of Black People that built this nation.
Without unity Rosewood, Greensboro, and many other Black Communities could not have existed. I believe we must remember, that we are the descendants of some of the greatest minds, and civilizations on earth. We must love ourselves, and one another despite the hate that has been given. Of course we want to appreciate non-black allies, and be grateful for them. People that are willing to stand on front lines, facing brutality on our behalf, helping make calls, and donations towards justice. However, it’s imperative to deeply comprehend that our wholeness, and self-acceptance does not start outside of us. We do not need someone else’s validation or approval to feel good about who we are. The dream of a Lovely Black Community without colorism, self hate, and tearing down of one another will not come to fruition without unlearning the ugly things that we’ve been taught about ourselves through colonization, and methodologies used like the Willie Lynch letter.
If we want something beautiful for us, let us first shift our mindset. As Black People we must really consider embracing the Principles of Kwanzaa. No matter how many times we are knocked down, we must get up. We have to monitor our daily encounters with one another. Are we just thinking of “me, myself, and I”, or are we making moves to help benefit our people. For example, will we go the extra mile to purchase from Black Businesses? Will we recycle the Black Dollar? Do we simply speak to one another, letting each other know that “I see you”, especially in times such as these. I’m looking forward to the day when Black People receive reparations. Yet, I will not wait on a check to do my part in improving our conditions. I know this much, we can’t wait on someone else to do it for us. We can’t wait to invest in one another, we can’t wait for school systems to educate our children, they are being miseducated. We can’t be remiss about forward movement that will change generations. Building strong families, legacy, and generational wealth, has to become a priority. We have to act now, because those that came before us, did more with less access. It’s time to do more with what we have in our hands, even if all we see is 5 loaves and 2 fish. Faith in action makes it possible. All I know is that I’m dreaming of a Lovely Global Black Community: City to city, country to country, continent to continent. Will you dream with me?