Police brutality, qualified immunity, white supremacy, unjust laws, broken families, and the list goes on. Most of us know this already. So why am I writing this? I’m writing this, because in spite of all of that, I believe in us. I believe that Black People can do anything, and overcome despite the odds stacked against us. I believe in our ability to rise. Like the words of Maya Angelou… “Still I Rise”. I believe we are missing integral pieces to our puzzle. Elements that the Black Communities of old had. The first element is unity. If I were a fly on the wall, I’m most certain that those communities had problems. Yet, unity helped create prosperous communities like Rosewood, and Tulsa Oklahoma. The latter is better known as Black Wall Street. It’s not the reference I care to use, due to the fact that the first Wall Street that still exists today was an auction block for the buying, and selling, of Black People that built this nation.
Without unity Rosewood, Greensboro, and many other Black Communities could not have existed. I believe we must remember, that we are the descendants of some of the greatest minds, and civilizations on earth. We must love ourselves, and one another despite the hate that has been given. Of course we want to appreciate non-black allies, and be grateful for them. People that are willing to stand on front lines, facing brutality on our behalf, helping make calls, and donations towards justice. However, it’s imperative to deeply comprehend that our wholeness, and self-acceptance does not start outside of us. We do not need someone else’s validation or approval to feel good about who we are. The dream of a Lovely Black Community without colorism, self hate, and tearing down of one another will not come to fruition without unlearning the ugly things that we’ve been taught about ourselves through colonization, and methodologies used like the Willie Lynch letter.
If we want something beautiful for us, let us first shift our mindset. As Black People we must really consider embracing the Principles of Kwanzaa. No matter how many times we are knocked down, we must get up. We have to monitor our daily encounters with one another. Are we just thinking of “me, myself, and I”, or are we making moves to help benefit our people. For example, will we go the extra mile to purchase from Black Businesses? Will we recycle the Black Dollar? Do we simply speak to one another, letting each other know that “I see you”, especially in times such as these. I’m looking forward to the day when Black People receive reparations. Yet, I will not wait on a check to do my part in improving our conditions. I know this much, we can’t wait on someone else to do it for us. We can’t wait to invest in one another, we can’t wait for school systems to educate our children, they are being miseducated. We can’t be remiss about forward movement that will change generations. Building strong families, legacy, and generational wealth, has to become a priority. We have to act now, because those that came before us, did more with less access. It’s time to do more with what we have in our hands, even if all we see is 5 loaves and 2 fish. Faith in action makes it possible. All I know is that I’m dreaming of a Lovely Global Black Community: City to city, country to country, continent to continent. Will you dream with me?
Are your dreams, aspirations, hopes, and potential possibly sitting on the sidelines of life? Perhaps wavering on the wall between, now and the future? Are you debating whether you should use this time during the pandemic to go into survival mode? Maybe you’re saying to yourself that the future doesn’t matter, only today. Though the world is in a global pandemic, it doesn’t mean that our life is ending. It doesn’t mean that we need to hunker down, and wait for the COVID Storm to pass over. Hoping our life is still intact, after the aftermath.
Now is the time to realize that you are more than “what you do”. It’s the time to do a reality check, and think about the job you went to everyday, that you can no longer return to at the present moment. The “title” you had is just that, a title. You are more, and there is more in you. Think about what you’ve always wanted to do...Maybe things like becoming a chef, and having your own cooking show, starting a YouTube channel, teaching something that you’re really good at. Everyone’s at home so you’d have a captive audience, right? :). Maybe you started a book, five or ten years ago, well now’s the time to work on finishing up that manuscript! Possibly your dream is to begin to save money for a dream vacation, to purchase your first home, or to build an emergency fund. Right now you can take the time to reevaluate your spending habits, so when the COVID Storm is over, you won’t continue down the same spending path when you return to “financial normalcy”.
As you navigate through this season that we are experiencing worldwide, you unapologetically have the right to have peace of mind, and to dream big, even in the midst of a global pandemic. Yes, I said that! You can determine in your mind that you’re coming out stronger, and the next time something like this happens like COVID-19, I’ll be better prepared. How can I be prepared next time, or even months from now if it gets worse? Well, because you’re not going to spend quarantine watching movies all day with snacks, only leaving the house to buy more snacks...That’s okay on occasion, but not every day. It’s fun yes, but you’ve got to get some planning time in as well.
You my friend, can harness the power of this moment, and turn something so ugly into something quite magnificent. You have untapped, endless potential, and now is the time to dig deep, and see what seed of greatness lies just beneath the surface. You blog reader, yep you, are predestined to do great things! Now on your mark, get ready, set, go lovely! I’ll be cheering you on.
Lovely Coils, Founder
In order to get control of what’s trying to control you, disturb your peace , interrupt your plans, invade your dreams like a coup d’ etat, discourage you, weigh down your spirit, and your mind. Causing you to feel so heavy that you don’t want to lift your head, or get out of bed in the morning. Does any of that sound familiar? Well, I would suggest that it’s time to take an inventory, on the things that have come to steal, kill, and destroy the lovely vessel that you are, and usurp the life that you are meant to have. Some things we’ll discover on the inventory list have come to take away the most valuable things in life like family, and friends. I’ll throw some things out there, and just maybe you’ll see them on your inventory list: Unforgiveness, envy, bitterness, insecurity, negative words, anger, fear, hurt, abuse, addiction, and possibly even COVID-19…
You have a grand opportunity in front of you right now. Seriously. Use your imagination, and find a leash of your liking, it can be blinged out, spikes on it, camouflage print it’s your choice. Now you grab that thing, take it down like an action film, and you make it obey you. Now you put a leash on it. This is not your loveable puppy, big dog family member that you love. No. This is a beast, and you MUST tame it, and get control of it. You don’t let it boss you around like a bully on a playground. Anything mentioned above, or not on the list, that you know about that is stealing from you, needs to be reminded that you were meant to live an abundant life! Not just trudge through the terrain of your journey, hoping that you’ll make it to tomorrow. I don’t think so.
So it’s time to go to work. If you’ve found something on that list, and you know it’s trying to control you, cause you to live in fear, make choices that you’ll regret, or even paralyze you so that you don’t move forward in life… You have to let it know that it’s pushed you around long enough. I’ve personally been through enough stuff to know that you can win over it! You can overcome that which is trying to overtake you, and run roughshod over your joy, peace, and your life. Causing you to live so blinded by its hold that you dismiss the power of NOW. You can choose right now, that you’re coming out of COVID-19 for example, stronger, wiser, economically fit, strategic in your food choices (how you eat can build immunity, or destroy it), your family will be solid, or you’re going to start a family, start planning the business that you’ve always wanted to build, maybe your going to spread joy, because you don’t know what tomorrow brings for you, or anyone else. You may be limited to the grocery store, and places of necessity, but not in your mind. It doesn’t get to control you, and who you are to become. You can choose to come out better than ever, not just barely making it out of whatever storm you are in, aside from COVID-19. I used that example, because unfortunately it is the notorious ferocious beast, that we all have to deal with in the present moment.
I am not a psychologist, or counselor you won’t find that here. I’ve just found my way through many storms, and I’m grateful to God that I have. I believe, because it works for me. You don’t have to, that’s okay. No judgements here. There’s a great book that helped me many years ago to begin to put a leash on some things in my life, and overcome, that which sought to overtake me, and leave me broken, torn, maimed, and empty. I still have things I have to put a leash on that arise everyday… but, we are powerful, put so put a lovely leash on it!
Founder & Owner
If you are a person of color or have any biracial mixture, I would almost bet that you’ve been faced with the notion that you need to reject, or change something about you. Reject your Black heritage, your Indigenous heritage, Asiatic heritage, Latino heritage, reject whatever supplies you with melanin. Reject your hair...Unfortunately, we’ve heard some of these sentiments within the bloodlines of our own families. Quite possibly from those who are supposed to nurture us, and instill self-esteem, and self-acceptance. Maybe you’ve heard something of this sort: lighten your skin, straighten your hair, marry someone _____________, so your children will be less_____________, Don’t tell anyone you have ____________ in your DNA, because they’re inferior or less than. Maybe you heard you need a nose job cause it’s too________________, and even possibly something as foolish as all of your ancestors were _______________, and you’ll never be anything because of it.
Well, I beg to differ with those negative sentiments, and offer you quite the contrary! Why, because once I got the revelation when my baby girl was one years old, that I was a byproduct of all the good and bad seeds that were in my life, I had to go to work mentally and spiritually, and get those things uprooted. Therefore, the negative seeds could no longer bear any fruit, and it has done wonders for my spirit. It’s ridiculous the malicious words spoken, and planted into the lives of many. Over time those ugly seeds are watered, scattered throughout humanity, scarring individuals spirits, yielding the sour fruits of self-hate, degradation, shame, bitterness, and jealousy. While the one that chose to speak those words, have the stain of colonization on their psyche, and are blinded to the side-effects for generations to come.
If you are one of these individuals that has sown hateful words or, one who is affected by them...it’s time to get those things out of your ground. Get them out of the soil of your spirit, so new seeds can be planted, and so that your life can yield beautiful sweet fruit, and those that encounter you can benefit from it. Allow yourself to get a renewed mind. Get in the mirror, and try this lovely...say I’m wonderfully made, my skin is lovely, my hair is lovely, my heritage is lovely, and I have lovely roots. If you are courageous enough try telling someone that is faced with thoughts with inferiority, and tell them do do the same. Spread loveliness around. The world could definitely use more of it.
With great love for humanity,
Founder & Owner
When I was a child growing up, I always thought something was wrong with me. I was teased, tormented by peers and even family members. They told me that I was too dark, too fat, not enough of this, that I have “nappy hair” and my eye color was too dark. On top of that, it didn't help to watch TV and never see a positive image reflected back at me. So, unfortunately, those negative seeds grew into self-hate and low self-esteem. Thank God I’ve matured and I’ve come to the realization that we’ve been taught to prefer a particular look over another, one skin color over the other. We’ve been taught what’s pretty and what’s ugly, what’s good hair, and what’s not. I believe that it's time to unlearn what we’ve been taught. It’s time to uproot the seeds of negativity and self-hate that have been planted into the soil of our minds.
You must ask yourself if you’re courageous enough, to honestly deal with the answer...Who wrote the so-called standard of beauty and sold it to the masses? I’ll let you meditate on that. It’s time to stop purchasing the lies. The price is too high, and it never goes on sale. Let’s see how much it’s costing you. It’s sorta like the restaurant menu that shows you the entree name and description without the price. Ok, back on course now. So let’s add up the costs self-esteem, confidence, self-worth, belief… It’s starting to get so high that you can’t put a number on it.
As a woman of color, I’ve come to learn that it’s all beautiful, every shade, every hair texture. So, If you’re reading this stop and re-evaluate the beliefs that you hold about yourself and others. If you’re courageous enough to do so dig deep, and find out how deep the seed goes, from which your beliefs sprouted. Maybe it’s high-time to celebrate your skin color, your hair texture, your history, and heritage that’s been omitted out of history books. So you have to dig deep for Historic truth and accuracy. You have to “Know thyself.” Those words were originally spoken by Pharaohs, and inscribed on the temples of Black Ancient Egypt. Know that you are a gift, to say the least. Be well lovely.
Founder of Lovely Coils
As I was preparing for the day ahead of me, these simple words crossed over the freeway of my mind… “Grow at your own pace”. So simple yet so profound. Those words brought a smile to face, and warmed my heart. They help me realize once again, I’m running my own race. If I focus on my own lane, and my own journey it becomes clear that the only opponent I have is the worst version of myself! You know the lazy one that refuses to be patient, and do the work it takes to get there; wherever there is. If I keep propelling forward, I’m going to arrive at the finish line, at the appointed time. You will arrive at your destination as well. This applies to many aspects of life such as learning a new skill, business, and it definitely applies to hair.
Good things take time. It may sound cliche, but they do. For those that want healthy hair, or longer hair, a healthy body, or whatever it is, it’s a process. Please respect your process. Your hair may not grow at the same pace as someone else with a loose coil pattern. You could be recovering from years of hair damage, and no previous knowledge of how to avoid it. I’m speaking this from my own journey. I realize absolutely nothing worth having, and keeping is microwaveable. Like a great meal slow cooked from Grandma's House versus cheap dinner in the frozen section, at the grocery store. With that being said, let me get down to hair business.
When it comes to hair, products aren’t the only things contribute to hair health. What you consume in your body will affect your hair, it’s health, and its ability to grow. Free radicals, and DHT can make a poor environment for hair growth. There are many studies out there that connect gluten to some forms of alopecia, and hair loss. Whereas a gluten-free diet can begin to help you restore your hair, and of course putting products on your hair, and body that are pure, and undiluted can help get you achieve hair goals sooner.
Staying away from petroleum and mineral oils will aid in the process of you truly loving your hair. Mineral oils, and petroleum contain harmful chemicals that can harm your body, and dry out your hair. Note to self, dry hair equals breakage! Hair requires moisture on your hair, and in your body. So drink your water lovely!
If you truly want Lovely Coils, love your hair from the inside out. It might not be the way you desire it to look yet, but you’ll get there. If you’re of supplement age, there are supplements you can take like Biotin, Silica, MSM, and others I’m sure, but you must do your homework before leaping into supplements or hair vitamins. You may also look into trying rice water, which is well known throughout parts of Asia for growing hair, and providing protein. Start first by looking at what you’re putting in your body, and definitely look at what your putting on your scalp. One harmful act could be cancelling out the good that you’re doing in another area. I hope this helps you love yourself more, and take time to enjoy the journey. Go ahead and try it, grow at your own pace!
Happy New Year!
Founder & Owner